Below is a compilation of game quotes from farious games I’ve been a part of. Unfortunately, this page is far from complete. Many of the things said at our game sessions have been forgotten, and are lost forever.
“Venail’s Bitches” Campaign
Bar-Bar the Barbarian: Valzlaag is a little bit north, and Barzuk is south by a lot more. I don’t understand why we would go south to go north.
DM: Oh, get a point of Intelligence bonus and now you get all uppity.
Anna: You hit Venail on the head with that one.
Barb: I get violent when I am tickled.
Fentie: You start violent!
Nick: This is the most fucked up party ever!
Miggins to Bar-Bar the Barbarian: Go ahead. We’ll be right behind you. *rolls bluff check*
Anna: I endured your elements.
Anna: “Domo Ogmi gato…”
Nick: Your balls won’t know what to do!
1-7-07 (Night of the Living 20s)
Ogmi: I’m as wise as Buddha on a stick.
Ilraeth: Like a Buddha-cicle.
Fentie: I’m about to.
Bill: I don’t think of badgers as being big and mean… they’re more like little and mean.
Fentie: Oh, they’re badass. They are like a pancake of death.
Fentie: It fills a 30 ft cube… with a sphere.
Bill: But what about all that pi?
Fentie: There’s not much there. Just a bunch of plains.
Barb: Knowledge (Plains)?
Barb: I survived the initial trample when nothing else did!
Fentie: Congratulations, you’re stronger than a bunny.
Fentie: Thank you for coming so quickly.
Anna: That’s what she said.
Barb: If I charge up to it, I won’t be 30 within Miggins.
Vaughn: What’s the map like?
Fentie: It’s a 5-foot hallway leading to a 40-foot square room. It’s a very basic map…. very “Orc and Pie”-ish. The map is sort of irrelevant.
Vaughn: Well, I want his pie. I’m going in.
Anna: *rolls attacks*
Anna: *rolls another attack*
Fentie: *holding die up threateningly* I’ll shove this in your pee-hole.
Barb: *looks at Fentie with a disturbed look*
Fentie: What? Nick is totally being a bastard. He deserves a d4 in his urethra.
Fentie: 44 (damage).
Barb: You mean 24!
Nick: Please don’t hurt my urethra.
Nick: I will fart out a haste spell and back out.
World’s Largest Dungeon Campaign 1
Warren: I give the Rod of Wonder to the paladin. *to the paladin* Unless you’re going to use it against me.
Anna: No. Well, not unless you fuck up.
Warren: Wait, I want to keep the rod!
Warren: And then I go “whacky” again!
Anna: There is no cash value on righeousness!
World’s Largest Dungeon Campaign 2
Fentie: Are those my pants?
Kronk: I’m gonna whip it out and go, “Whoa, yeah. Bring it on.”
Kronk: OW! CLERIC!
Dwovar: Kronk, how are you feeling?
Kronk: Dude, I’m at about half.
Dwovar: You’re at half again?! You twit!
Fentie: Boo, boo ba doo ba doo!
Nick: Are you boned yet?
Derek: I rolled a 4… I got a 5.
Bill: I rolled a 4… I got a 15.
Derek: Stupid people with Intelligence!
Keth: Hey, bad ideas are sometimes the best ideas.
Abby: What should I do?
Aaron: Go inside… so you aren’t blocking the door.
Aaron: I talk to Fratsnabble.
DM: That’s the one you’re on top of.
Bill: (to DM) Can I get an inhaler of true seeing?
DM: Sure, but it won’t function.
Bill: (gesturing to Neil) He thinks it’s a good idea…. which probably means it’s not.
Neil: You need to take care of that raging barbarian emurgently.
Zigato: (to Dathar) Don’t polymorph party members!
DM: You’re down to 4.
Bill: I’m alive!
DM: And now for the 50/50.
DM: You see someone picking your pocket.
DM: Ok. He’s a pile of ash. There are now five guards running towards you.
Rae: Wait! I took a sacred rituals class during the conference at my guild meeting! I cast earthen hand, and I am now on a stone pedastal.
Guards: You’re under arrest.
Rae: I can explain. This man was smited for failing to observe the holy day of Ramadanadandan. *bluff check*
Guards: You’re lying, and you’re under arrest.
Rae: I attack the glow. What level am I?
Bill: That’s almost like attacking the darkness!
Rae: I was a hideous angel beast, and they shot me!
Neil: (laughing so hard he cries because his character just died)
Randy: Do we need to get you a paper bag?
Derek: Oh, and I’m carrying a torch.
DM: And how is it lit?
Derek: It’s not.
Randy: You didn’t light it in the fire?!
Belle: Yeah. Horse boy over there? He’s mine. No touchy.
Bill: Do we level?
Nick: You didn’t do anything worthy of reward.
Bill: I survived a battle.
Neil: You survived a battle against townfolk. Congratulations. You get a broken pitchfork and 3 XP. doot doo doooo!
Ishmael: We go looking for people.
DM: There aren’t any people. Only dwarves.
Ishmael: Dwarves are people, too!
Ishmael & Zigato: (loudly) TO THE BAR!
Bolero (the new Bard): For my first song, I’ll play the Dwarven holiday classic Silver and Mead.
Bolero: Next, I play My Baby Done Cheated on Me So I’m Shaving Her Beard.
Bolero: You know, I could always use material for more songs. Just last week I finished the Ballad of Ramandanadandan.
Mungo: Mungo need glasses
Anna: The insurance does not cover acts of rod.