Chimeric Dream

My multi-faceted reverie

Game Quotes

Posted on: September 22nd, 2009 by Bill

Below is a compilation of game quotes from farious games I’ve been a part of. Unfortunately, this page is far from complete. Many of the things said at our game sessions have been forgotten, and are lost forever.

“Venail’s Bitches” Campaign

Every Week

Everyone: Domo


Bar-Bar the Barbarian: Valzlaag is a little bit north, and Barzuk is south by a lot more. I don’t understand why we would go south to go north.
DM: Oh, get a point of Intelligence bonus and now you get all uppity.

Anna: You hit Venail on the head with that one.

Barb: I get violent when I am tickled.
Fentie: You start violent!

Nick: This is the most fucked up party ever!

Miggins to Bar-Bar the Barbarian: Go ahead. We’ll be right behind you. *rolls bluff check*

Anna: I endured your elements.

Anna: “Domo Ogmi gato…”


Nick: Your balls won’t know what to do!

1-7-07 (Night of the Living 20s)

Ogmi: I’m as wise as Buddha on a stick.
Ilraeth: Like a Buddha-cicle.

Nick: Bonus!
Fentie: I’m about to.

Bill: I don’t think of badgers as being big and mean… they’re more like little and mean.
Fentie: Oh, they’re badass. They are like a pancake of death.


Fentie: It fills a 30 ft cube… with a sphere.
Bill: But what about all that pi?

Fentie: There’s not much there. Just a bunch of plains.
Barb: Knowledge (Plains)?

Barb: I survived the initial trample when nothing else did!
Fentie: Congratulations, you’re stronger than a bunny.


Fentie: Thank you for coming so quickly.
Anna: That’s what she said.


Barb: If I charge up to it, I won’t be 30 within Miggins.

Vaughn: What’s the map like?
Fentie: It’s a 5-foot hallway leading to a 40-foot square room. It’s a very basic map…. very “Orc and Pie”-ish. The map is sort of irrelevant.
Vaughn: Well, I want his pie. I’m going in.

Anna: *rolls attacks*
Nick: Haste!
Anna: *rolls another attack*
Fentie: *holding die up threateningly* I’ll shove this in your pee-hole.
Barb: *looks at Fentie with a disturbed look*
Fentie: What? Nick is totally being a bastard. He deserves a d4 in his urethra.
Nick: *grimaces*

Fentie: 44 (damage).
Barb: You mean 24!
Nick: Please don’t hurt my urethra.

Nick: I will fart out a haste spell and back out.

World’s Largest Dungeon Campaign 1


Warren: I give the Rod of Wonder to the paladin. *to the paladin* Unless you’re going to use it against me.
Anna: No. Well, not unless you fuck up.
Warren: Wait, I want to keep the rod!


Warren: And then I go “whacky” again!


Anna: There is no cash value on righeousness!

World’s Largest Dungeon Campaign 2


Fentie: Are those my pants?


Kronk: I’m gonna whip it out and go, “Whoa, yeah. Bring it on.”

Kronk: OW! CLERIC!
Dwovar: No.

Dwovar: Kronk, how are you feeling?
Kronk: Dude, I’m at about half.
Dwovar: You’re at half again?! You twit!

Fentie: Boo, boo ba doo ba doo!

Nick: Are you boned yet?

Cabbages! Campaign


Derek: I rolled a 4… I got a 5.
Bill: I rolled a 4… I got a 15.
Derek: Stupid people with Intelligence!

Keth: Hey, bad ideas are sometimes the best ideas.


Abby: What should I do?
Aaron: Go inside… so you aren’t blocking the door.


Aaron: I talk to Fratsnabble.
DM: That’s the one you’re on top of.

Bill: (to DM) Can I get an inhaler of true seeing?
DM: Sure, but it won’t function.
Neil: laughs
Bill: (gesturing to Neil) He thinks it’s a good idea…. which probably means it’s not.

Neil: You need to take care of that raging barbarian emurgently.


Zigato: (to Dathar) Don’t polymorph party members!


DM: You’re down to 4.
Bill: I’m alive!
DM: And now for the 50/50.
Bill: Fuck!


DM: You see someone picking your pocket.
Dathar: Disintegrate.
DM: Ok. He’s a pile of ash. There are now five guards running towards you.
Rae: Wait! I took a sacred rituals class during the conference at my guild meeting! I cast earthen hand, and I am now on a stone pedastal.
Guards: You’re under arrest.
Rae: I can explain. This man was smited for failing to observe the holy day of Ramadanadandan. *bluff check*
Guards: You’re lying, and you’re under arrest.


Rae: I attack the glow. What level am I?
Bill: That’s almost like attacking the darkness!

Rae: I was a hideous angel beast, and they shot me!

Neil: (laughing so hard he cries because his character just died)
Randy: Do we need to get you a paper bag?
Neil: Maybe.

Derek: Oh, and I’m carrying a torch.
DM: And how is it lit?
Derek: It’s not.
Randy: You didn’t light it in the fire?!

Belle: Yeah. Horse boy over there? He’s mine. No touchy.

Bill: Do we level?
Nick: You didn’t do anything worthy of reward.
Bill: I survived a battle.
Neil: You survived a battle against townfolk. Congratulations. You get a broken pitchfork and 3 XP. doot doo doooo!


Ishmael: We go looking for people.
DM: There aren’t any people. Only dwarves.
Ishmael: Dwarves are people, too!

Everybody: (chattering)
Ishmael & Zigato: (loudly) TO THE BAR!

Bolero (the new Bard): For my first song, I’ll play the Dwarven holiday classic Silver and Mead.
Bolero: Next, I play My Baby Done Cheated on Me So I’m Shaving Her Beard.

Bolero: You know, I could always use material for more songs. Just last week I finished the Ballad of Ramandanadandan.



Mungo: Mungo need glasses


Anna: The insurance does not cover acts of rod.